Comme vous le savez tous, je suis la nouvelle "meuf du CDI" de mon lycée creusois, mais mes attributions ne sont pas seulement documentaires. Non, non, non... Telle Wonderwoman je multiplie les missions ! Sachez, chers lecteurs que je dispense également des cours de soutien en Français pour des élèves de CAP.Par demi groupe (c'est à dire 7 personnes max et c'est déja trop...) nous tentons, leur brave professeur et moi, de reprendre les bases... je dirai même les fondations, les racines de notre jolie langue... et ben c'est pas gagné...
Les élèves sont en CAP Agricole âgés de 16-17 ans mais les cours sont du niveau primaire. Un jeu d'enfant me direz-vous... Euh non !
Ca sait quoi un élève de CAPA? En français pas grand chose... Dernier exemple en date avec un petit récapitulatif sur le Futur.
Après être intervenue pour mettre fin aux insultes et à des querelles liées à la taille des exploitations des Maîtres de stage ("Ouais j'en crois pas d'cque tu me racontes lô, el' Père Machin, il a ben plus d'hectares. Arrête Batard t'y connais rien et tu te la petes parce que t'as conduit un tracteur John Deere trop pourri même que les Claas c'est les meilleurs, alors hein"...) nous commençons des exercices de conjugaison et je constate qu'il ya de grosses lacunes sur le Futur... (un peu comme pour tout le reste d'ailleurs...)
J'en viens donc à la question fatale :
"Bon le verbe Prendre au futur ca donne quoi ?- Euhhh.
- Aurélien ?
- Ben je prenais.
- Bon, Jean Claude ? (oui je vous jure c'est son prénom...)
- Je prend....
- Le futur, les gars ! Bon sang : Demain je humhum le tracteur pour aller aux champs !
( j'essaye de les amadouer avec les tracteurs...)
- Ah ! ouais je sais : on dit je prendrai mais là ca risque pas, le tracteur, il est mort ouais parce que c'est Bernard qu'a foncé avec , ben il avait la goutte alors ca a pas aidé et...
- STOP" (c'est de ma faute j'aurai pas dû les brancher la dessus...)
"Bon, Jean Claude, explique moi la formation du futur."
La réponse est à la hauteur du personnage..."Ben pour le futur on met le verbe comme c'est qu'il est quand il a rien et pis ben on rajoute des trucs au bout."
Ah ben oui, finalement le futur c'est fastoche, non ?
54 commentaires:
Ben tu sauras quoi ? t'y dans la creuse !!!!! ahahahaha !!!!!
N'empêche que c'est bien triste....
Ne te décourages pas.... Mais tu devrais peut être commencer par un temps plus simple, genre présent simple ?????
Les joies de l'enseignement...Que la patience(et toute une plantation de café aussi) soit avec toi,jeune padawan
Je ne saisis pas pourtant, un CAP agriculture dans la Creuse cela a de l'avenir, donc le futur envisageable et conjuguable...
Bon courage
Vive les John Dere, New Holland et autres engins agricoles
bonjour
ils ont besoins de toi, je sais de quoi je parle, alors courage
patrick
Oui Gaëlle je les ai surestimés avec un temps qu on apprend au CE1...
Merci TSN tu crois que je devrais prendre des actions chez Jacues Vabre?
Chèr anonyme (qui n en est pas vmt une...) merci pr cette subtile métaphore que mes élèves n'auraient pas eu la joie de comprendre
Je ne pers pas courage, Patrick car je sais qu'ils ont des circonstances atténuantes.
Allez les enfants ! La semaine prochaine on attaque les multiplications et les division euclidiennes !
3 choux * 3 carottes = ?
Oh pinaise c'est génial !
Bon ben Tof je t'attends pour le cours de maths la semaine prochaine !
Du Francais à la philo, il n'y a qu'un pas que j'ose franchir allegrement (hum? quoi ? un rapport avec l'éducation nationale?) : C'est abusé bordel comment le hasard fait bien les choses :)
Je pense qu'il n'est pas possible de tomber + par hasard que ça sur ton blog. Je crois que le but premier de ma recherche googlesque était de trouver le titre de la chanson-pub pour sirop sport qui passait il y a qqes années à la tv ! (d'ailleurs, si tu es au courant..)
J'arrive sur un de tes textes, et je te la fais avec le son : "putain, on trouve plus ce qu'on veut sur internet à cause de toutes ces conneries de blogs et sites persos !!!"
Par dépit plus que par compassion, je commence à en lire une phrase... puis deux, puis le texte entier. Et boum, le miracle, le choc : je souris et ne deteste pas :)
"Nan, c'est pas possible, faut que j'en lise un autre, j'ai du me tromper" --> Même résultat.
J'en arrive à celui-ci, et la, pas moyen, faut que je lui dise : Tu es plus interessante qu'une musique publicitaire de Sirop sport :-)
Oui, non, en fait j'ai assez aimé oui.
Cher anonyme, en grande documentaliste que je suis, j'ai essayé de chercher au fin fond de ma mémoire cette chanson et je me suis rendue à l'évidence, ma culture télévisuelle n'est plus ce qu'elle était.... La seule chanson de pub pour sirop que j'ai en tête c'est celle pour Sironimo en dessin animé avec les animaux qui chantent, tu t'en fous sûrement mais ça c'était "love is all".
Sinon tu t'en fous sûrement royalement également mais sache que si t'es trop fort, t'es Sirop Sport, Sironimo c'est rigolo et Tesseire c'est maso...
En ces temps de disette bloguistique (il ny a qu à regarder les commentaires du denier article) ton message m'a redonné foi en l'aventure... oui des gens restent plus de 0 seconde sur mon blog, et oui ils (sou)rient à mes meilleures blagues!)
N'hésite pas à revenir un jour, cher anonyme et merci encore pour ce magnifique compliment !
Comment te faire passer le message suivant sans être trop demonstratif ? MERCI !!! SIRONIMOOOOOOO !!!
Tu viens d'illuminer mon mardi matin! Je viens grâce à toi de gagner une bataille d'une semaine dans laquelle je m'étais engagé face à mon boss : La chanson de MIKA, actuellement sur toutes nos ondes radios (de rtl2 à fun radio, sisi, promis, et je suis sur qu'en faisant bien gaffe on peut l'entendre sur chérie fm et skyrock), ressemble trait pour trait à la pub sironimo, dont je ne me rapellais plus le nom. Du moins il me semble, mon oreille musicale étant assez limitée...
Pour l'occasion, je me suis même permis de me créer une identité blogger.. Je suis trop "in" comme garcon maintenant.
Quelles fêtes de pâques exceptionnelles :-) Et dire que certains se contentent de chocolat...
Mirci beaucoup :) et oui oui, tu peux, tu dois même, continuer cette aventure. Tu vas quand même pas me laisser seul avec "ouè salu c moa, jecri mon blog lol, jaim la musik mais jaim pas lecol. Je veu que tou le mond sache que mes prof y sont tro naze et que le mond cest nulle".
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